August 2022: Relating to Grief and Loss

As humans we live on earth for a specific period of time. We all know loved ones who have passed away. The suffering from the resultant grief seems relentless, so relentless that some people push it away or deny it.

Whether because someone died, a marriage ended, a job ended, or some other significant life change or loss, grieving occurs and is a human process, we all go through it. Any change brings about a sense of loss. A loss brings grief. It makes sense that we should feel some discomfort after a loss.

Resolving the loss does not mean bringing the person or situation back as it was or not experiencing the feelings that come from grief. It involves moving through and with the stages/process of grief to resolve the loss.

These stages of this process are denial/shock (this can’t have happened, I am numb), Anger (how can you do this?), bargaining (if I can do this you bring the person back or change the situation?) , depression (feeling sad) and acceptance (accepting the loss and reorganizing life after the loss or change).

Here are some ways practical ways to cope with grief and loss

– Seek counseling. Talking through the loss and how it has affected you can decrease the sense of suffering.
– Use the support of others. At times, connect with others, even if you do not speak about the loss when with them. Request practical assistance if needed.
– Self care. Do activities that make you feel nurtured. Go out, have a massage, take a bath, do a walk, etc.
– Accept the feelings. Instead of pushing feelings away. Let them be in you and go through you. The feelings will pass over time.
– Have rituals and remembrance days. On the birthday of the lost loved one or anniversary of the loss, make time to do something in remembrance of this person or loss.

What do you do to cope with grief and loss?